


Misunderstandings

by EdelgardvonHresvelg



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Language Barrier, Sexual Humor, very minor black eagle spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 10:49:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20526779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdelgardvonHresvelg/pseuds/EdelgardvonHresvelg
Summary: The language barrier between Petra and Dorothea could cause problems sometimes, but none as bad as this.





	Misunderstandings

It was a rainy afternoon. Dorothea and Petra sat opposite each other in the dusty Garegg Mach library seeking sanctuary from the ongoing downpour that had chased them out of their comfortable seats near the gazebo. The atmosphere was unusually quiet, even for a library that held far fewer inhabitants that it did prior to the acquisition of the Officer’s Academy by the Black Eagle strike force. Not even Linhardt was lingering within the space he usually claimed as his own. Dorothea had no particular interest in reading these days, not even as hobbies dwindled to few given their inability to indulge themselves in more common recreation due to the ongoing war. In times of bloodshed, the two girls had become close to one another. In fact, the songstress considered the foreign princess her closest ally. Often they spent their days side by side, sometimes simply talking to one another about absolutely anything and at other times braiding each others hair. Regardless of what it was, Dorothea was always happy to have someone else by her side in such times.

“I’m bored now,” sighed Dorothea. “A shame our little date had to be rained on. I was rather enjoying the outdoors.”

“...Date?” Petra echoed. She looked up from the book she had been drawn into. “I did not have knowings of this.”

“Oh no, Petra. I was just teasing,” Dorothea said. “It’s more like... a friend date! You know.”

“Oh,” the foreign princess replied. A slight frown crept its way upon her cheeks. “I have understanding.”

Though at times Dorothea allowed her mind to drift into the depths of what would happen if their relationship blossomed into a little more, she dared not linger on it. Petra was probably straight. She had never mentioned an interest in other women before and seemed confused by matters of romance whenever Dorothea were to mention the various failed dates that plagued the last few years. Petra was supportive of her romantic failures, yes, but never quite had a grasp on the situation. As innocent as could be.

“So, what should we do now?” Dorothea asked. Her fingers boredly tapped upon the wooden table. “I mean, you can keep reading if you’d like. I was just thinking we should do something fun together.”

Petra shook her head and closed the book. Perhaps she hadn’t been as interested in it as Dorothea had imagined. “Something that is fun for us to be doing…” she said to herself. Her thoughts looked vacant for a moment, before her eyes lit up. “I have an idea!”

“Oh yeah? Let’s hear it, then!”

“You could be eating me out.”

Dorothea spluttered and nearly fell out of her chair. She rubbed her eyes with her fists and repeated the words over again in her head. “I’m sorry? Can… can you repeat that for me, Petra?” she stuttered.

“I said… you could be eating me out,” the princess repeated.

Dorothea’s eyes flickered back and forth as she attempted to make sense of the sudden turn of events. Petra had a completely innocent smile as she looked into Dorothea’s eyes, as though she had not understood the weight of her suggestion. Petra had gotten better at mastering Fódlan's language over the last few years, but situations such as this one occasionally arose. She tended to stumble over the order of her words, so it was only natural that she made a mistake such as this one. If only she had been aware of what something like that actually meant.

“I think you mean… can we eat out?” Dorothea suggested.

Petra looked at the other girl with the same innocent smile. “Hm?”

“Look, it’s a nice idea, but I don’t know if it’s such a great idea to go to town considering the circumstances,” pointed out Dorothea. There were a few nice restaurants nearby the academy in Garegg Mach territory, but they hadn’t gone in quite some time. Supplies were low in times of war, and the dining hall offered all they could ever need. “It’s pretty early, anyway.”

“I do not have understanding,” Petra replied as her smile turned into a mixture of confusion. “I was asking if you wanted to be eating me out tonight.”

Dorothea coughed into her hand. Poor, innocent Petra. How troublesome this language barrier could be at times. “Even if we do it later, I’m still not sure it’s a great idea. The dining hall has all our favorite meals.”

“The… dining hall?” the foreign princess said. Her head cocked to the side. “That was not what I was asking. I was asking about you eating me out.” She seemed not to want to budge on this issue.

“Listen, Petra. I don’t think you understand,” replied the exasperated Dorothea. Her face was burning like a thousand flames. Would she  _ really  _ have to explain the differences between eating someone out and eating out to her? This was an incredibly awkward thing to go into, especially to someone she harbored a crush on. “Tonight isn’t a good night for that.”

Petra frowned. “Oh.” The disappointment she had was immediately obvious upon her face. “I was hoping to be sleeping with you tonight... but I am understanding if you are not wanting to. Should we be going our separate ways for now?”

Again, Dorothea nearly choked. The two girls occasionally had sleepovers in each other’s rooms whenever they were bored, or when the horrors of war would keep them wide awake. Now, the blush that was on her cheeks was spreading to cover entire face. How many euphemisms was she going to have to explain to the poor foreigner? “That’s not it at all! I’m alright with you sleeping over tonight, I just said it wouldn’t be a good idea to go out to eat.”

Petra stared blankly back at the other girl. She obviously wasn’t understanding something that Dorothea was saying, but what it could be was beyond the songstress. “I… do not have understanding,” she spoke out again. 

Dorothea stood from her seat. Her heartbeat was getting a bit too rapid for her liking, and the awkwardness of the situation surrounding them was getting to her. She wasn’t sure whether to outright tell the innocent girl about the double meanings surrounding her words or to let it be. Dangerous thoughts were flooding her brain. She imagined the two of them upon her bed, her head between tanned thighs, tongue prodding curiously at Petra’s wet--

She covered her face with her hands. “I’ll talk to you about this later, okay? Just… just read your book for now and uh… I’ll see you soon!” she said quickly. She was desperate to escape from this situation before her overwhelmingly lewd thoughts spiraled out of control and her crush became all too obvious to the pure girl who had absolutely no idea how her mistaken words were affecting her. She hurriedly gathered herself and forced the mental image of Petra naked upon her bed out of her mind. What would she look like, what would she taste like? Her legs carried her quickly to the door while she held back further scandalous thoughts. She’d have to have a long talk with Petra about sexual terms so she didn’t pull this on someone else, that was for sure.

\----------

Petra watched while her friend fled the scene. She frowned and looked down upon the closed book in front of her.

“I do not have understanding,” she sighed. “The professor was telling me to be more forward with my feelings, but it was not working.” Maybe Dorothea didn’t know what it meant to eat someone out or sleep with them. She certainly was acting like it. “Next time, I will simply ask her to have the sex with me so she does not have confusion.”

**Author's Note:**

> OK i started the edelgard/byleth porn BUT college is kicking my fucking ass so i wrote this like a few days ago as a joke and forgot. i wasnt intending on ever publishing this outside of showing my few friends as a meme but might as well post it i guess jdgfkjsdflkdagjfs. you can probably tell i didnt put much effort into it but OH WELL!!!!!!!! maybe ill continue this one day when school doesnt suck who knows!


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